The Norwegian Meeting (norskmøte) Part 2

"Hei John! Velkommen tilbake til Norge. Jeg heter Ronnie. Det er min sjef Lars" [Hi John. Welcome to Norway. I'm Ronnie. This is my boss Lars] said Ronnie as I entered the arrivals lobby at Gardermeon International Airport in Oslo, Norway.

"Hyggelig. Tusen takk!" [Nice to meet you guys. Thanks!] I replied back.

As we walked towards the parking area, there was a bit of awkward silence. They were all smiles, but I could tell these guys were not used to making small talk, especially with an American. Normally when I arrive, at an airport, the people picking me up will ask if their flight was okay, any problems with getting luggage, etc... With these guys nothing.

As we start driving towards Oslo, Ronnie attempts to break the ice in the only way a Norwegian can...

"Fint vær idag". [Nice weather today] he said jovially.

Jesus Christ, I thought, here we go... the conversation about the weather continued for the next 15 minutes... They proceeded to tell me that they ordered the weather especially for me, and that it was completely awful the week before. they then proceeded to describe the snow, rain and sunny intervals on a WEEK BY WEEK basis for the entire year.

During the talk of weather, I also learned Ronnie was looking forward to going to water-skiing over the next few weeks and that Lars and his wife where planning to build an addition to their cabin in the mountains.

At this point, I'm about to die of boredom... I try to change the topic..

"Jan kunne ikke komme idag?" [Jan couldn't come today?] I asked.

"Neida, Jan var litt opptatt med en annen kunde i dag, da kunne han ikke komme. Men han skal på møte i ettermiddag" [No, Jan was a little busy with another client today, so he wasn't able to come, but he'll be in the meeting this afternoon].

"Greit" [ok] I said.

I explained to them that Jan was my neighbor in Oslo when I lived here, and it was though him that I got this project. He was one of the few Norwegians I knew that basically had an American personality, meaning that he was willing to talk about anything. The day we met, he told me he wanted to travel to Korea to pick up trashy women.

Ronnie and Lars were a bit surprised about this. They said they didn't know much about him, as they had only been working together for about ten years (yes I am not kidding, they actually said that....)

Since I was only going to be in town for a couple days, they wanted to make the most of the time. That day was pretty much all meetings to plan for an upgrade of Oracle in a few months. As I got to the office, I saw Jan. We exchanged greetings and then he introduced me to his boss Hans, who is the project manager.

I shook hands with Hans, and proceeded to chat with him while getting coffee.

"So Hans, how are you?" I asked in English.

Hans hesitated at the question for a few seconds.

"Not so well, right now. I have a lot of issues with my brother. We have been fighting a lot." he replied. "You see he took a lot of my mom's money and made some really bad investments..."

Oh Jesus Christ, I thought... this guy is REALLY telling me how he is.

"I really think he needs to grow and stop living in his fantasy world..." he continued.

As I mentioned earlier, when we Americans ask this question, we really don't care how the other person is ACTUALLY DOING.... We just want to hear "Fine, thank you" or maybe an entertaining story. There's nothing that pisses us off more than one someone we barely know stops us to tell some sob story.

For the next five minutes, Hans proceeded to tell me ALL HIS PROBLEMS with his brother.

"In addition, I really can't stand his wife as she is so overbearing..."

I really didn't know what to do at that point. I just basically kept nodding.

Eventually, Jan walked over to say the meeting was starting. Hans called Jan to a private room for a quick chat. A couple minutes later they walked out and Hans left the building.

"John what the f*ck did you say to that guy?" Jan shouted at me.

"Nothing, I just asked him how he was?" I replied back. "What the hell happened?" I asked.

"Well apparently, he's so upset now that he cancelled the meeting and went home."

[to be concluded]