The Pregnant Woman

Today while at "Whole Foods", I saw a very pregnant woman drop some of her stuff. Attempting to be a nice guy, I rush over and pick everything up for her.

Instead of thanking me, she gave me the "crook eye".

"Excuse me, what are you doing?" she asks annoyingly.
"Um. I'm trying to pick up the stuff you dropped" I replied.

"Do I look like I can't pick this stuff up myself? she asks?

Oh Christ... think fast John....

"Um, no, I definitely think you can, but I just..."

"You just thought, oh here's a helpless woman that can't do anything for herself, whose husband just left her for some tart that's my daughter's age... isn't that right???"

OK. this is a little too much information. People are starting to gather. Thankfully, they are all looking at her as the "nut" and not me, but I guess that's totally a matter of prespective..

"Look ma'am, I didn't mean any disrespect. I just thought that being pregnant you might need a little extra assistance. That's it!" I replied.

Now she's giving me the "evil eye"...

"I am not pregnant!!!"