The Park Run (2022.09.01)

Over the last few months, I've been trying to lose the 30 lbs I put on during the pandemic.

So recently, I've gotten back into running every day about 2 miles. Initially, the run was absolutely horrific, but recently after losing about 20 lbs, my body has sort of gotten used to it. I thought I ran at a pretty good pace; that is until today.

This morning, I'm running along the stretch of the wooded trails along Pearson MetroPark in Oregon, Ohio as I'm visiting my mom. I'm running at what I presumed was a pretty good pace until, along a long straight stretch, I see an elderly lady walking in my direction....

That was fine, but what was concerning was that I realized that this old lady, who was walking, was actually CATCHING UP to me.

Jesus John, I thought to myself, I'm not all that into competition, but Christ, I don't think I can live down the shame of "grandma" overtaking me WHILE SHE WAS WALKING. I started to speed up.

I went from a slow relaxing jog, to a semi-run. I looked back, she was still getting closer.

I sped up again.

Now, I'm running. She STILL PROCEEDS to get closer as I hear the thumping of the her senior Nikes getting louder. I decide to run faster.

I end up doing a full sprint. Guess what? ... the full sprint just manages to keep her at bay. I'm not getting farther from her, but she's now JUST BARELY keeping her distance from me.

My back starts screaming, sweat starts pouring down my face... F*CK the sunblock drips into my eyes. I'm gasping for air and I'm running half-blind now.... I feel like I'm going to pass out. But I keep going. I'll be damned if I let "grandma" overtake me.

I pass the 0.1 mile marker. At this point I'm running for my life. I finally make it back to the starting location. At this point, it takes all my energy just not to pass out on the ground. I'm panting and semi-delirious. My t-shirt is soaked and my glasses keep slipping of my face from the sweat.

Grandma is literally just about 10 seconds behind me. She catches up, and she's not even breathing hard nor has she broken a sweat.

She knew I was running to beat her.   

"Don't worry! You beat me." She said while smiling.

"Thank ... you." I replied while struggling for air.

"But to be honest it wasn't even a competition." she added.

"Oh how's that?" I asked.

"well" she replied. "THIS IS ONLY MY THIRD LOOP AROUND THE PARK. At the speed you were running I'd guess it's your FIFTH OR SIXTH TIME AROUND, right? So naturally you'd be running slower than me..."