The Flight Upgrade

"Hello thank you for calling xxxxx airlines. In a few words, please tell me how I can help you?"

"Book award travel"

"You said book an award reservation. Is that correct?"

"Yes"

"All right, let's get started. Please tell me the city you are departing from:"

"Tokyo"

"You said, Toledo, is that correct"

"NO"

"I'm sorry, my mistake. Let's try that again. Please tell me your daparture city."

"T-o-k-y-o NARITA"

"I'm sorry, I didn't get that. Let's try that again. Please tell me your departure city."

[multiple presses of the ############################ key]

"Please wait while I connect you to an operator. TO expedite things, please enter your xxx airlines award number."

So I enter my award number...

"Using the numeric keypad, please enter the first 4 letters of your account password. use the * key for any special character in your password."

WTF? My password has backslashes and spaces. I wonder if this system is smart enough to parse that...

[password entered]

"I'm sorry, that password is invalid. Please try again."

[password entered]

"I'm sorry, that password is invalid. Please try again."

###################################################

"Please hold for a customer service representative. After your call, would you like to participate in a 1 question survey?"

"NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO"

"All right please hold."

I hold.....

"Currently times are between 1 and 2 hours"

So I wait...2 hours and 11 minutes later.

"Thank you for calling xxxx airlines. My name is Susan. How can I help you?"

"Hello, I'd like redeem some miles to upgrade a flight from Tokyo to Shanghai."

2 minutes later, when I talked to an actual human, my flight was booked.

"Thanks Susan. Have a good day."

"Bye, John"

and then it was back...

"Thank you for choosing to take part in our 1 question survey...."