The Crossroads Lie (part 1)

Part 2 is here
Part 3 is here

I recently received an email from Hiroo, a kid that I met in Japan a few years back. The mail had pictures of his new sister, Emi with the caption

"Uncle John, I told you the extra -crossroads lie- would work. See!! I have a new sister now!"

I first heard about the term "Crossroads Lie" (十字路口謊) from my father a few years before he passed away. He defined it as a small, insignificant lie that one tells at critical points in their life which greatly change the outcome of a situation. According to my dad, during the Chinese civil war, he was trying to secure passage to Taiwan on a boat. However, he was stopped at a checkpoint and initially denied entry since this boat was specifically for a certain family group. The checkpoint guard asked him if he was part of that group... to which he answered yes (but that he had lost his ID). The guard looked at my dad skeptically, but eventually allowed him to pass. Had my dad not lied at that point, my brother and I would probably not have been born in Taiwan, or come to the US, or even exist for that matter.

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Anyhow, back to Hiroo's story ...about 3 years back, I stayed at an apartment near Kinshicho on Tokyo's east side. That time I ran into the 5-year old kid named Hiroo of my neighbor, who was this nice Japan lady named Yuko. On that day, Yuko was exceptionally happy, and when I asked why she was so happy, Hiroo mentioned that his mom had recently married and that she was newly pregnant with his brother.

I was of course, happy for her, but Hiroo then mentioned that while it was nice, he was conflicted since the way his mom met her new guy was entirely based on a lie. The guy was originally scheduled to go on an arranged blind date with another woman; they were set to meet at a starbucks near Kinshicho station, but the girl was running late. Yuko was working that day, and noticed that guy, who she thought was pretty cute. Eventually they started talking, and the guy told Yuko that he was waiting for his blind date, who hasn't shown up. He then asked Yuko if she thought he had been stood up.

After a few moments, Yuko answered impulsively that was probably the case. Feeling depressed, the guy then left the shop. According to Yuko, a girl did show up at the shop about 30 minutes later. She ordered a drink, then sat near an electrical outlet and immediately started charging her dead cell phone. She then started texting and calling. However, it seemed none of her calls went through. About an hour later, the girl left alone. Yuko is positive that girl was the original date of her new husband. Most likely she was running late, and her phone died, so she couldn't contact the guy.

A short while later, Yuko and the guy started dating and about eventually got married. While Hiroo does genuinely love his stepdad, he had a lot of problems with the way his mom got her new husband. He then asked me if what she did was wrong.

I thought long and hard about this. I replied that I didn't think it was too much of a problem, as the girl was late, and that his stepdad may have left the coffee shop even without his mom saying anything.

"But uncle John." replied Hiroo. "That's not what happened. My mom DID TELL HIM HE GOT STOOD UP. If she didn't say that he might have waited the extra 30 minutes to when she would have showed up."

"I know." I replied. To be honest, the kid had a point. I hope he doesn't read this post.

I replied that while his mom did lie, it was a lie that didn't hurt his stepdad as she was interested in dating him. If she lied to him just out of spite, then I would have more of an issue with it.

I then explained the concept of a "crossroads lie".

"Uncle John" asked Hiroo, you ever told a crossroads lie?"

"I have." I replied. "Once I told such a lie in college and it pretty much got me where I am today."

"Can you tell me?" asked Hiroo.

Yuko's mom just handed the kid to me, she said she was going to the supermarket and to look after him until she got back.

"Now that you started this, he won't stop until you tell him the story." she replied.

Part 2 is here
Part 3 is here