The Asian Squat Toilet

As foreigners living in Asia, each time we go to a new bathroom, we think of only one thing...

"PLEASE LET IT NOT BE A SQUAT TOILET, PLEASE LET IT NOT BE A SQUAT TOILET, PLEASE LET IT NOT BE A SQUAT TOILET... OH GOD D*MN IT!"

Each time I say this I'll get the standard response from my Asian Friends..

"Oh John, it's SO much clean when you don't need to touch the toilet"

"It's so much easier to clean .. " and so on.

However, it underlies a fundamental difference between Westerners and Easterner...

We gaijin ... cannot really squat for long periods... our knees are simply not built for it.

As my friend David said ...

"As I have bad knees... and as a result unable to maintain balance when my hips are below the level of my knees that I'm typically 2 feet or higher above the hole....

then there is the added complexity of not being able to get your pants out of the way in such a situation. You can't take them off - so they end up straddled around your thighs or knees and not necessarily clear of the ... trajectory. (You can't drop them to the floor as it is always wet from splash and people's foot prints who have slipped a bit and dunked their shoes)...

and if I do get into a full squat I'm unable to stand without kneeling and pushing myself off the ground - or having a bar I can use able to hold 200+pounds of 6'3" person struggling to rise.

NOT a fan of holes in the floor..."